The intimacy of expressing what we want

Intimacy is often a word reserved for sexual experiences, yet the word simply means closeness, affinity, and familiarity. As a sensitive human, I am reflecting more and more on nonsexual forms of intimacy. 

One aspect of intimacy that feels especially vulnerable to me is voicing what I want to another person. I notice a nervous energy in anticipation, recognizing the risk of rejection, shame, and even humiliation. Whether we are telling someone that we want a hug, to spend time together, help with errands, or to change the subject of conversation, these are all acts of seeking proximity and relationality. 

Rejecting capitalist conditioning

Through hyper-individualistic capitalism, we are taught to only rely on ourselves and pull ourselves up by the bootstraps to meet our own needs and wants.  It fuels worries about bothering or asking too much of others unless we pay them. This serves to keep us isolated and stuck in a scarcity consumer mindset.

When we voice what we want, big and small, we are engaging in meaningful acts of resistance crucial in the movement towards collectivity and solidarity. 

We are interconnected and interdependent beings who thrive with community and connection. We need each other.

Dear friend,

I welcome you to be honest and vulnerable with me about what you want from and with me. I might not always be able to fulfill what you want, but I appreciate the trust you place in me and promise to hold your requests with care. Thank you for your confidence in me and our relationship.

Love,

Mac

I am pushing against capitalist conditioning and fear (not always successfully) because I think it is so worth it to cultivate intimacy and connection! I invite you to consider doing the same.

What are other nonsexual ways you experience intimacy?