It doesn’t need to be productive to be worthwhile
Though I was born here, I was raised by immigrant parents and grandparents. They held the classic immigrant mentality that we need to keep our heads down and work hard to survive because this country will not look after us. As such, I was brought up with values of productivity, efficiency, and resourcefulness. As an adult, I can now appreciate how necessary these beliefs were for my family, while also choosing differently for myself. I am privileged with the ability to take my time and unlearn these survival strategies. And it really has been a process.
After years of grinding, I realized the significance of rest. At first, I justified the need for rest by saying it is actually more effective in the long run because I can sustain work and academia better. I told myself it is better to take breaks than burn out, so really I am still being productive. I expanded this logic to also encompass doing activities for fun, healing, and treating myself. I was quite pleased with myself for finding joy and not feeling guilty about it because I was being productive.
Over time, I stopped actively thinking about rest and play as constructive until last year when I saw posts on social media pop up about how these things are productive. In some ways, I was happy to see them because they confirmed and validated beliefs I already held. However, on the other hand, the more I saw them, the more I wondered if this was true. This was an unexpected response, so I took time to do some internal reflection and investigation.
As I explored my thoughts and feelings about this concept, I realized I was wrong. Rest, joy, art, healing, fun - these are our birthrights. We are inherently worthy of them. Framing them as productive was just another part of the same capitalist conditioning that taught me to feel guilty for relaxing in the first place. Now, I am actively unlearning the mindset that values productivity above all else.
While I acknowledge the constraints of our capitalist society that demands we follow certain timelines, I also seek ways to live my life differently.
So here’s to lounging in bed, making art just because, and day dreaming. Here’s to turning off notifications and not justifying the delay in an email response. Here’s to healing our wounds not so we can be more productive members of society, but because we deserve to live well. Here’s to recognizing our humanity and staying playful. :)
Hand embroidery by Macayla
“It doesn’t need to be productive to be worthwhile” above two faces with their eyes closed. The left face is brown with blonde curly hair and the right face is light with purple hair tied back into a bun.
